we all need a direction....

so its been a few days since i last posted anything. the days have been filled to the brim with good bad events going on. To start off on a some what cheery note i will start with the good. I got to spend alot of time with aubrey, david, danny, and the rest of my friends. I got to go visit meghan. it was really good to see her smiling after what happened. There was a plane crash that killed everyone on it, meghan got in a bad car wreck, and some friends from the past have come back to cuase some drama in my life recently. Life can change dramaticly in any given instant or moment in time. I am starting to realize just how highly i value certain things in my life. My family, the gospel, and my friends.. a few specificly im realizing just how important they are to me. it really is important to live your life today so that if you werent here tomarow you would be in good standing with your family, friends, and especially the lord. Too many times ive found myself holding back in certain situations. As hard as it is sometimes to express just how you feel about someone, or what they mean to you its usualy better to let them know in some way. you never know if you will have another opertunity to make sure they understand. Another thing that ive been thinking and pondering recently is this.. "there is allways someone better" This small statement is very true. in sports, church, politics, anything and everything in life. in soccer i used that as motivation to work harder and push myself more to try and improve. Even though this is true that there is allways someone better it shouldn't keep us from putting ourself out there though. for along time ive felt like there was someone better then me so maybe i shouldnt talk to a certain girl maybe.. or try out for a certain team or game. I AM done with that attitude. Talking to aubrey tonight i realized just how silly and dumb that is. why should i not even try just beacuse there may be another alittle bit better at something then me? if nothing else i can only get better by trying, and continuing to figure things out. :) So this might just be my longest blog yet. ive gone through 3 songs so far and im still just warming up. The way im feeling about some people in my life is begining to change and shift. Nothing really different, im just seeing things better latly. I am hoping to start running alot again. starting out with maybe 3 times a week. I ran around alot today with david playing hockey, then by myself with my soccer ball before aubrey, chase, davd, danny, dason, my sister, and a couple others came over. Sometimes letting go is the true sign of strength. it takes aLOT more power and strength to let something go sometimes then it does, or would to keep something going. To hold onto it longer even if its not doing any good for anyone involved. My true heros in my life are changing some as well. Angels come in all shapes and sizes in this world. its almost 1 Am right now, so im sorry if this doesnt make any sence at all. i know im jumping around alot. We all need to feel that we have a direction in life. even the most spontaneous person i know has a goal and has his eyes set on something in the near future. Right now my goal is to become closer to the lord. To be more open with how i feel. and to become a better overall person physically and mentally. i have been VERY inspierd by a few people the last week or so of my life. something as small as a smile. another friend standing up for what they belive in even when others might get upset beacuse of it. another friend having the courage to tell me im being stupid haha.. I am going to start another blog on here also with my scripture studying. it will have alot of the points and truths and gospel principles im learning and understanding as i study. I think that it will help me to get a better understanding and remember what im learning and studying better. I know that i can be better then this. I dont have to let all these little things in life bother me, and i wont anymore. I am determind to become that witch i was meant to be. Seeing how excited Chase is about his mission call inspiers me as well. all of my friends have really inspierd me latly in SO so so many ways i cant even explain them all. but thanks everyone your amazing. i dont know where id be without my friends. those who are physically here with me now, and those who are not but still are there for me when i need something. There is allways someone better... but... there is ALSO allways someone worse... ;)